Smile Awhile

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.  Proverbs 17:22

Holiness and happiness go hand in glove. God is the “Father of Laughter.” And “joy is the serious business of heaven” C. S. Lewis.

So smile awhile. Consider a good guffaw, or at least a snicker, a twitter, a chortle, a hiss, a blast, or a wheeze. For “a cheerful heart is good medicine” Proverbs 17:22. And “the joy of the Lord is your strength” Nehemiah 8:10.

Here are a few actual church bulletin bloopers to get you going:

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church. Come and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Why not sign up for the Prayer and Fasting Conference. The cost of the conference includes meals.

Morning service: Jesus walks on water. Evening service: Searching for Jesus.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Due to the Pastor’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Weight watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper next Tuesday. Prayer and medication to follow.

Due to a conflict the peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Today’s Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? With hymns from a full choir.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

A bean supper will be held Tuesday evening in the Church Hall. Music will follow.

The choir invites any members of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join us at the Saturday practice.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I upped my pledge – up yours.”

Next Sunday is the family hay-ride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

This being Easter Sunday, Mrs. Lewis will be coming forward to lay an egg on the altar.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

Seriously, God has a sense of humour. Just take a look at the church – there’s no doubt about it!

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